Teacher student relationship

It’s a difficult spot to be in as a student. It’s a place of vulnerability, your weaknesses on display, them coaching you through to overcome. It creates a unique bond and I find myself wanting more, wanting to know more about them, their story, are they a friend. Then a tiny voice creeps in: It’s a one way bond, they’re not emotionally engaged. And you couldn’t expect that, with so many students! For me it is a new experience of personal growth. For them – they’ve seen the kind of thing I’m going through, many times before. It’s their job. I pay them. How do I distance myself.


About cornstalk
Corn. Singer. Nurse. Lover of music. Pursuing God (trying...). Secluded. Pianist. Wannabe gypsy. Silly.

4 Responses to Teacher student relationship

  1. My only advice is keep expectations low. It is a very unique relationship, and difficult to explain to those who haven’t experienced it. The only thing I can say is keep reminding yourself why you’re there and what you’re paying for – to learn to dance! Avoid comparing yourself to his other students too. We’ve never talked about it, but from my observations, my teacher is friends or at least has a closer relationship with some of his other students. But the only thing those observations do are hurt me because like you, I’d like to be able to call him my friend. So I focus on the fact that he is a great teacher and we are building a strong dance partnership. But that’s it.

    • cornstalk says:

      It’s so hard! Especially when you’re meant to be looking into their eyes and dancing with feeling. I barely even attempt that with him. As far as I know we don’t have formal rules or boundaries around friendship like you do. But realistically I can’t be friends with someone I see 4 times a year. Way too much potential to see him as a perfect person & fill in the gaps with my fantastic imagination! I realised I was thinking about him too much and it’s unhealthy to be so one sided.
      Thanks for your advice 🙂

      • Believe me, I know! I set my own rules/boundaries just to avoid getting hurt. I have a feeling if you asked him, my teacher might say he considers me a friend. But you’re right, it’s too easy to see them as perfect and I keep reminding myself the only time we spend together, I pay for! Not the basis for a real friendship. I think the relationship can develop in a very healthy way, as long as you stay realistic about what kind of relationship it is.

      • cornstalk says:

        Yeah hopefully if I keep reminding myself of those things they will sink in. It’s just hard to reason with your emotions/heart!

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