Dancers world

Local fame, what we’ve always dreamt of!
…Soon i realise nobody i talk too gets the Sunday Examiner paper anyway >.<!

salsa

This is my story, from behind the glitz and glamour (lol…) of our “slowing growing scene” at SALSAme.

These weekends are always such an emotional rollercoaster. I get terribly nervous before my one on one lesson. Although for the first time it was not to the point of diarrhoea which was nice (TMI sorry XD). Only took a year.

Perhaps soon I’ll be able to speak more than 3 words to him at a time. lol.

There’s huge excitement in having a pro salsa dancer in a state where there are none, give us skills that we have no access to here as well as be unpretentious enough to come along to our social and dance with all the ladies when often we spend song after song sitting out as there aren’t enough boys.

Inevitably the thrilling high of the weekend is followed by a crashing low, which I now fear so much that I don’t even get excited anymore. For me it’s an existential-dance-low: knowing I’ll never get to his level, or even his students level and that he’s gone back to a thriving scene full of opportunities, and I am here in my town and now I’ve had a taste of what’s out there how can I be satisfied with this?

And just to add to the mix – I feel confused. I feel my instructor doesn’t *want* to dance with me at the socials. I know it. Intuition. Despite him being a very good actor. Does this mean I am a look-good dancer and not a feel-good dancer? :/ Or in some bland limbo between the two. I know he dances with me because I’m his student and he wants to test me. This time I unusually (& delightfully) got 2 dances with him at the social, 1 bachata & 1 salsa. Maybe this is because I showed him some progress and actually *danced* my way through the workshops, instead of just step step stepping.
On the weekend I met a dancer from Hobart. A great dancer. She led me in a wonderful dance. I watched her a lot at the social, hoping to learn from her earthy grounded body movement and her energy.
That was what made me realise I’m starving here in Launny.

STARVING!
I don’t think you have any idea what it’s like here. Or maybe you do. Have you ever lived in a small, isolated or semi-rural area where the only salsa community is comprised of fossils *ahem* joking joking! a bit of a lonely hearts club at times.
We have lots of new beginners atm which is wonderful, but there are few highly skilled dancers here for me to watch and learn from. Also confusing is our level of “intermediate class” is low compared to the mainlands and it rarely rises because not everyone stays on and commits to progressing their dancing. It’s like they’re there just to have fun or be social.
Fun!? Social!?
I AM NOT HERE FOR FUN ><!
Lol XD
So I’m in this limbo land, I don’t truly understand where I’m at. The ‘things’ I face become more challenging things. With 4 private lessons a year my progress is slow, so slow that sometimes it’s actually backwards. -.-;

I am far from where I’d like to be. I’ve improved but I don’t even know if it’s possible for me to get there. While I’m here on this island state. And that makes me wonder to what end am I putting in all this time and money…

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About cornstalk
Corn. Singer. Nurse. Lover of music. Pursuing God (trying...). Secluded. Pianist. Wannabe gypsy. Silly.

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