Candid speculation on talent

After 3 years of tafe-work-tafe-work repeat 6-7 days per week, i finally have the time to delve back into some art projects. It’s been hard work which has helped to keep my head on the ground. When i started the tulip painting at an art workshop, i thought it was looking pretty good for my first painting, the rest of the class seemed impressed.
I felt like they had all been to this workshop before! They knew each other & the tutor.  Think middle aged ladies, with massive plastic buckets that fold out layer upon layer of pristine art supplies. Anyway, they gush: “Ohh! You’ve painted befooore haven’t you Courtney!”.
Well no i hadn’t but i felt too embarrassed to say so.
But I didn’t want to lie and say yes.
So i said nothing.
Which was really rude to just ignore people. Yeah…didn’t make friends easily. lol! But I felt proud & really thought i was good. Now i think it’s a mess and i struggle to create what i want in it, am i really cut out to do art.

It’s the same with singing, i get carried away with peoples gushing and i really think i’m amazing. Then i listen to myself on video, or see a professional singer and realise…wow in the sea of talent out there i’m not as good as i thought i was.

Same with salsa dancing, people treat me differently now they can see i’m actually getting better as a dancer, and then i see a video of classes in Melbourne and *heaps* of people are as easily good as me, have spot on rhythm, musicality and muscle memory. Back to earth.

Maybe being such a reserved unassuming person means that folks here are surprised when i show some real skillz. And what they’re actually feeling is, wow that’s unexpected…from you. But they might say, “Wow that’s amazing!”, so i think ok cool i’m like this good, out of ten. lol, a false sense of being really talented. Then slowly reality seeps in as i realise in the scheme of life outside of Tasmania, I’m not that much above ordinary.


About cornstalk
Corn. Singer. Nurse. Lover of music. Pursuing God (trying...). Secluded. Pianist. Wannabe gypsy. Silly.

4 Responses to Candid speculation on talent

  1. Rebecca says:

    Comparing yourself with others only leads to misery! EVERY time!

    I reckon creative stuff is about enjoying the process, not about comparison. It’s impossible to compare one unique thing with another.

    Does your scale out of 10 take into account how good you used to be at something compared with how good you are now? Or is it a scale that encompasses all the talented people in the world? If so, isn’t it good enough to just be on the scale at all?

    If people only did creative stuff because they thought they’d be up there with the best in the world, then that’s a lot of awesome art that never gets made, a lot of amazing songs that never get sung, and a lot of non-dancing that will never bring anyone any joy.

    Creative people, even if they’re only a little bit good, inspire creativity in others. And creativity is a very freeing thing. It’d be a shame for people to miss out on that inspiration, just because you don’t rate yourself against Leonardo da Vinci.

    The more pockets of creativity there are throughout the world, the better. Any flavour you add to these pockets is completely original, and won’t be replaced by someone else if you choose not to. It’ll just be missing.

  2. cornstalk says:

    Thanks for the hearty comment friend 😀 I was just finding a few areas of my life giving me this feeling of thinking i’m good but then spreading my wings a bit outside of the local area to find there’s even more and better out there. I guess it was a scale of Australia-wide talent…lol which is pretty silly. But thanks for the sound perspective. Creativity is a valuable thing. We each have a unique flavour to add.
    “Creative people, even if they’re only a little bit good…” LOL i know it wasn’t meant to be amusing but hee hee. I wanna rename my blog, a little bit good. XD

  3. Rebecca says:

    LOL. I wasn’t talking about YOU, you numbnut. All I have is my opinion, but oh well, here it is.

    You’re way more than “a little bit good” at singing. You’re fantastic. Way better than me.

    I’ve never seen you dance, but only yesterday someone told me they’d seen you and that you were “an amazing dancer!”

    The tulip painting is so-so, but even the best artists have times of frustration. I’ve seen some of your other work and you definitely have talent for art. Looks to me like you’ve overworked the tulip one. And you’re being a bit hard on yourself for your FIRST ever painting.

    There will always be “even more and better out there”. But really, who gives a shit?! Do you enjoy it? Do you occasionally get a finished product you’re proud of? Do you get a bit better each time? If you answer “yes” to even one of those questions, then it’s worth doing.

  4. cornstalk says:

    I know you weren’t saying i was only a little bit good lol…although i probably did think it was directed toward the painting, lol, it is a little bit good in some places and fugly in others. Anyway it’s an amusing phrase.
    Ohh thankyou 🙂 compliments for me! Oh psh I am not a better singer than you. I might be soon though. Cuz i’m getting singing lessons again…lol! 😀 Her name is Sonia Bowen and if we wanted to trio or quatro again we could ask her?!
    Oh that’s nice to hear about the dancing! I’m guessing you ran into a certain swing dancer on church camp.
    I’m pretty free next week so will have to catch up when you’re free.

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