Backslider

Backsliding has it’s own wikipedia entry..?!
Often when you stop going to church so much or stop being involved in a certain ministry, people think you are backsliding.

But for me, it’s more like i’m trying to step deeper into my faith. I want to try and mature my faith but i often find going to church draws me away from this, it brings out my cynical side, it reminds me of the feeling that i don’t fit in, i’m taking the courage to step away and by doing that i’m saying if i’m honest i haven’t found the enlightenment, transformation and relationship to god that i feel i should have according to the church, the abundant life so often promised. I know i can’t blame church for this. But i want to seek in a more holistic way. Not saying i’m leaving it for good, just stepping back a bit. Doing whatever i’m doing now isn’t working, so i’m not going to go along with it anymore, and for me that included singing up front. Maybe i’ll look back and think i was crazy.

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About cornstalk
Corn. Singer. Nurse. Lover of music. Pursuing God (trying...). Secluded. Pianist. Wannabe gypsy. Silly.

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