This is something i wrote late last year, thankfully i don’t feel like that anymore. Now i often feel happy as i’m using my creativity in my fashion course. And spiritually it feels good to have joined a study group that is about meeting up with people and talking about what it really is to follow god.


I continue to feel a great discontent, a restlessness in my life. Having to go to work is frustrating, tiring, unfulfilling. Yet on my days off I dont do much, and I procrastinate, put off the things that matter most.

Slowly though, I am beginning to come out of this cycle.

With the promising new series at church called whispers comes some bible readings. Although I read, I can’t get much sense of the significance of these stories. Hopefully the sermon will shed some light.

 What is this discontent I feel?

I know I can’t expect to be happy all the time. But I would just like to have less of this feeling – that something needs to change, things can’t stay like this, this can’t be all there is. Dissatisfaction, constant wondering why I don’t have what everyone else seems to.

What changes do I want to see?

For me, the spiritual and personal are mixed up.

I would like closeness to God, a more powerful relationship. So more intimacy, hearing from him more, finding my purpose in his kingdom, using my gifts for him.

Discovering what this life is really about. What does it really mean to follow God? As much as I loathe cliches, becoming the person god created me to be.


About cornstalk
Corn. Singer. Nurse. Lover of music. Pursuing God (trying...). Secluded. Pianist. Wannabe gypsy. Silly.

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